English Professor for VP!

13 Feb

Michael Bérubé makes his pitch as Obama’s running mate over at TPM Café:

But the important point is that while Obama speaks to millions of Americans passionately and movingly, I will speak to dozens of American academics drily and droningly. The Obama/ Bérubé ticket will thereby achieve “affective balance,” which, my personal research shows, is far more important in this era of Instant Messaging and YouTube than cosmetic forms of “balance” based on geography, demography, or ideology.

Ah, but Bérubé would provide geographic balance as a professor at Penn State, helping Obama net the all important central Pennsylvania vote and ensuring that Obama wins the center of the state, not just Pittsburgh and Philadelphia.  Such an alliance would secure the state for Obama in both the Democratic primary and the general election¹. This seems like sound electoral strategy to me, one that not even Rick Santorum could resist, at least not if he wanted to remain in the good graces of Penn State’s Alumni Association.

¹  Unless McCain nominates Joe Paterno as his running mate. Crazy? Cons: JoePa is 147 years old. Pros: He is immortal and cannot be killed by conventional means, making him a good man to step in should something happen to the President.


One Response to “English Professor for VP!”


  1. Pax McSweeney’s | After Corbu - February 14, 2008

    […] For McCain’s VP:  Cons: JoePa is 147 years old. […]

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